april 12 – day off on the hell train to hamburg

...up at 5a to get a 6a subway to catch a 7a train, oslo to gothenburg. relatively uneventful, certainly not indicative of the nightmare in store.
plan a: meet nigel (from multicardex, the people who printed our european cds) at copenhagen’s train station during our 10 minute connection to pick up 5 more boxes of cds & catch the next train to hamburg.
reality: last leg from malmo to copenhagen was late due to some kind of personnel issue, so we miss our non-stop connection to hamburg by 5 minutes.
plan b: 45 minute layover in copenhagen followed by a series of 3 trains.

train 1: we’re now loaded down with so much crap (800 cds, snare drum, cymbals, 4 bags, bass guitar, 3 backpacks, and a doumbek) we should probably just be playing shows on the trains. we had a dry-run where we practiced moving all this stuff from track to track, seemed to be doable. if it wasn’t for the bigger haps dogs, things might’ve been ok. just before the train arrived, we decided it was time for a nice sausage, specifically a “bigger haps dog.” delicious. about one bite in, train pulls up and we’re now racing to get seats on the train with all our crap plus hot dogs. carson trailed the pack, painting fellow passengers with mustard and ultimately choosing his bigger haps dog over his bass, ditching it a few cars behind as he searched for where we ended up. where’d we end up? the silent sauna car, where people scold you for talking and the a/c is on the fritz. at this point we’re sticking out like real americans, making tons of noise, sweating our asses off, eating hot dogs, generally eliciting stares. the train conductor wants us dead.
that’s where i’m writing this blog – it’s so hot in here, and carson just took off his shoes again. god help us all. if we make it to hamburg, i’m instituting a no-shoes-off-ever policy, and we’re never buying sausages again. here’s praying the next train’s on time...

train 2: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. packed up the 9000 items, bailed from train one in the middle of nowhere, denmark, and took deep breaths in the cool air off the train. next train right on time, about 5 minutes later, mostly empty, plenty of room to stretch out and functional a/c. small miracles...

train 3: all good, other than the odor.

finally made it to hamburg after 16 hours on the train – too tired to write more now... suffice it to say we had a turkish dinner somewhere in the middle of the city near the hotel.... see ya next time.